The Great Dates Throw Down

Why bother seeing the people in your life when you can eternally ask each other to "throw out" some dates?

May 2, 2026, 2:03 p.m

From: Evie Snodgrass

To: Serena Zarrow

Serena,

It’s been sooo long! How are you!?

I ran into Tamara over the weekend and she mentioned that you and Arlo are members of Newberg House. As it happens, I’m applying for membership. Those pickleball courts are to die for.

I hate asking this sort of thing but wanted to see if there was a world where you would drop a line to the Selection Committee verifying that Dale and I aren’t psycho killers? lol

We should all get together. Throw out some dates!

Xo e

May 2, 2026 8:09 p.m.

From: Serena Zarrow

To: Evie Snodgrass

EVIE!

Your ears must have been ringing, cuz I was just talking about you over pickleball with Emily – only good things, obvi! And yes, there is a world I could drop a line to the Selection Committee, and we happen to live in that world, so consider it done.

Meanwhile, I told Arlo he should reach out to Dale. He’s been trying to secure an investment from Matteo’s firm for his latest startup venture (don’t even ask me to explain it - something involving injectable nootropics, whatever). Do you think Dale could nudge Matteo?

And yes, let’s throw out some dates!

xo/SZ

May 3, 2026 7:52 a.m.

From: Evie Snodgrass

To: Serena Zarrow

Serena,

Lol that’s so crazy we were on each others’ minds. Collective unconscious is real!

Yes, I will totally badger Dale about badgering Matteo about Arlo’s project. I mean. You had me at injectables.

And thank you SO MUCH for helping make my pickleball dreams come true. How does it feel to be my picklegodmother?

Speaking of getting pickled, we’ll be on the island for July. Apart from the 4th, and whenever Axel decides to invite his friends up for the week without checking with us till they’re all “low key at the airport,” we still have a guestroom. You and Arlo should come. That is an official “high key” invitation.

Tag, you’re it. Throw out a few dates!

Xo

June 10, 2026, 4:04 p.m.

From: Serena Zarrow

To: Evie Snodgrass

Hi Evie,

I’m an idiot. IDIJT. This reply has been sitting in my drafts. I thought I sent it ages ago! I’m so sorry about the delay. And that is so sweet of you to invite us to stay in your beautiful guestroom–not that I’ve ever been to your place on the island, but I’ve always been obsessed with your taste so how could it not be beautiful?

I was going to circle back with Arlo and throw out some dates when I drafted this email, and I most certainly will do so now.

In the interim, does Dale happen to have Matteo’s new email address? After a really promising meeting, he just switched firms without telling anyone and Arlo is, like, stalking him. You know how these guys get when they have a hot idea. It’s beyond. Mayday!

If you’re free in August, we’ll be renting that analyst’s Shaker-vibes house again on Fire Island. Come hang with us. We’ll have a guest room provided that Anya and Mabel-Claire don’t get kicked out of lacrosse camp (please God).

Throw out some dates!

xoxoxox/SZ

August 21, 2026, 9:34 a.m.

From: Evie Snodgrass

To: Serena Zarrow

Knock knock–it’s me :)

We’d love to come see what’s shaking at the Shaker house out on the island! How’s the sixth of….. whoopsie! Summer is already over. Seriously, how does the season always fly by so fast?

Back to reality and, sadly, not back to a reality that does not involve pickleball at the Newberg. I thought we were a shoo-in, but we didn’t make the cut. A woman named Lisandra Forange wrote to inform me that they need to achieve “the right mix.” I went back to my original email and double whoopsie! I see I never gave you a deadline or said who to write to. I guess it’s too late for you to write to the club, but do you happen to know Lisandra? If there’s any chance you could drop her a line vouching for Dale and me? Speaking of dates: Throw me some?

xox, wtf, etc,

Evie

September 2, 2026, 9:34 a.m.

From: Serena Zarrow

To: Evie Snodgrass

Evie, aaaaargh! I’m so sorry about the Newberg sitch. I don’t know what happened! I definitely brought this to Lisandra’s attention. I even called her since I suspected she might have some thoughts about that stupid PTA rumor-mill thing tangentially involving you and Dale, and I of course didn’t want to put anything in writing. She said she hadn’t heard boo about the ALLEGEDLY misappropriated funds – so I figured it was smooth sailing.

Any word on Matteo’s whereabouts btw? Still trying to track down that investment he promised Arlo!

And we remain overdue. September is NUTS, I know, but nobody here has a terminal illness. Throw out some dates!

Xo Serena

September 3, 2026, 2:13 p.m.

From: Evie Snodgrass

To: Serena Zarrow

Hi Serena,

Good news! Dale ran into Matteo at the Food Coop yesterday and gave him a little nudge about Arlo. I was there and as your witness can attest that he asked Matteo to call Arlo right then and there. They got into a whole back and forth about the obstacles at hand, and which one is more of a deal-breaker: the garbage phone service at the coop or the IRS investigation. It was so funny. Have lived with Dale for 20 years and only just found out he does a killer Warren Buffet impersonation. If Arlo doesn’t hear from Matteo (once he stops laughing) I’ll be shocked.

Back to our criminally overdue get together. How about September 21, the weekend of October 16 or 23 or the weekend of Nov. 14 still looks clear.

If not, throw out some dates!

xx/E

September 7, 2027, 11:09 a.m.

From: Serena Zarrow

To: Evie Snodgrass

E,

I was hoping I was being paranoid to think that after that “scene” you so illustriously recounted that Arlo would hear from Matteo. Sigh. Dreams go to die in the freezer aisle.

Speaking of dreams, Mabel-Claire has her heart set on Stanford and is taking so many AP classes. It’s killing all of us.

Random thought: I play pickleball M and W mornings at 8:15. Throw out some dates!

Xo S

April 21, 2038, 10:12 a.m.

From: Evie Snodgrass

To: Serena Zarrow

Dear Serena, I hope you and the family are doing well, and that Mabel-Claire made it to Stanford in the end.

I wish I had better news to relay, but I was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Nomphins-Redd. It’s hard to process, and I’ve been focusing on tidying up my affairs.

So here is a very long overdue email. I’ve stopped playing pickleball but I’m sure we can find something else to catch up over. Have you heard from Matteo?

May is looking hairy, and June is when I will probably kick the can, but for now I’m still here, asking you to throw out some dates!

As ever,

Evie

July 21, 2038, 10:01 a.m.

From: Serena Zarrow

To: Evie Snodgrass

Dear Evie,

This is Arlo writing from Serena’s account. I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I wish I had better news on my end but I’ll just say it: Serena died last year following a boating accident. Matteo was “driving” and foul play is suspected.

Once the dust settles, I’d love to see you, to say farewell, to thank you for reminding Matteo to get in touch, and for inspiring him to have an affair with my late wife, who happened to have a very large life insurance policy. Who knew?

Throw out some dates!

Arlo