7 Substack Do’s and Don’ts From Suleika, Sari, and The Future Secretary of State
Rock stars of this platform (and my son) on how to make friends and paying subscribers
Hi this is what I look like (for all the new subscribers who are not my mom)
Okay, perhaps I should have thought to do this before I woke up the other morning, turned on the coffee pot and started a Substack without stopping to figure out a strategy of some sort. But then again isn’t the joy of Substack that you can mince along your own frighteningly charmingly disorganized path?
In the interest of keeping you entertained here, I asked seven masters of Substack for their tips and tricks. And since sharing is caring, they’re yours to do with what you will. You are most welcome.
Don’t…. Start an Ann Landers Column if You’re Not Ann Landers
“The dumbest thing I ever tried was to write an advice column, which none of my readers were interested in,”
of Girls of a Certain Age told me. “It was very unpopular. First of all when I solicited questions, hardly anybody answered and then they barely got any likes. I stopped after three times.”…but Do Start Some Regular Feature That People Will Like
“Come up with some sort of rubric that you post with regularity, in addition to just straight-up blog posts," said
of three, count ‘em three, Substacks: Oldster Magazine, Memoir Land and Adventures in Journalism. Sari (oh it’s fun to call people by their first names, which I can’t do when I’m writing for a newspaper!) had a lot of other fantastic tips, including writing about whatever’s got you thinking or laughing or googling, no matter how arcane. “If something intrigues you, it will undoubtedly intrigue your readers, too,” Sari promised me.
A message that intrigued me
Do…. Live on the Edge
“Do what delights you,”
of The Isolation Journals told me. “Unlike writing for a typical publication where there’s so many other eyes and editors and intermediaries, the joy of Substack is you can dream something at 3 a.m. and publish it. There’s great freedom in that, and also an element of fear. Try to tap into that freedom and allow yourself to do what excites you. Let your freak flag fly.”Do… Set a Schedule and Stick to It
I very much like the pilates classes of Brooklyn instructor Helen Phelan. I like her Substack WELL HELL because it isn’t just pilates-pilates-pilates-killmenow-pilates. She posts essays on her worst birthday ever and oddly dreamy collages of images she found on the internet as well as her current obsessions (e.g. lash serums and Jessica Rabbit-esque shoes ). Her top tip: timing, timing, timing. “Consistency is key!” — especially if the content itself is going to be anything but consistent.
One of Helen Phelan’s beautiful collages
Do… Think Of Yourself As VIP Top-Dog Number 1 GOAT Subscriber
“Always write for yourself and what you’d want to read,”
of Neverworns shared with me. “Nothing is off limits!” There are plenty of news outlets that will jump on whatever is hot on Google Trends (🤮) and custom-engineer content that has the words Labubu and TikTok and Gen Z and “Gooning” in the headline. Substack is a place where you can rhapsodize about a warm blanket or share with readers that your sister’s boyfriend gave you a very weird self-help book.
Uh… thanks, Joe!
Don’t… Be Afraid of A Little Razzle Dazzle (or Humiliation)
My 14-year-old son doesn’t have a Substack, but he does have his opinions. “You need to start putting out the most entertaining product possible,” he told me the other day. “You need people to buy into your brand before anything else.”
Don’t… Fear The Ugly Homemade Photo
Welcome-home from camp cupcakes I made for my daughter, a pack of gum, and salad
I went in thinking I probably broke all of these rules in the first week that I’ve had a newsletter!! deep sigh of relief
I love this, Lauren. And I agree with Kim. I thought writing an advice column for Oldster ("Ask the East Village Yenta") was going to be fun for me to write, and fun for people to read, but it was a fail...